Tragoedia
by Maggiemay
Summary: Life can change in an instant, your path forever altered. A Nick/Jen fic.
1. Chapter 1

I had not planned on writing another fic so soon, but this was in my head and it needed to be written down. It will only be relatively short – maybe just two or three chapters, will see how it pans out. It's not what I intended to write, but it has taken on a life of its own.

Let me know what you think – reviews are always appreciated.

Disclaimer: I do not own City Homicide or its characters.

*Lyrics of a song included in this chapter, are from "My Immortal" by Evanescance.

* * *

><p>1.<p>

They were alone in the break room, making their morning coffees. Jen stood at the bench, stirring. Nick put the milk back in the fridge and came to stand next to her. He placed his hand on the small of her back, rubbing lightly, and gave her a small peck on the side of the head.

Duncan walked in, regarding them with a smile. "Hey guys, you wanna cut that out, you know. Waverly catches you and one of you is heading straight for traffic duty."

Nick and Jen had been together for a few months, following the whole Dane Majors saga. Everyone at work knew, and they were happy for them, but the bosses had given strict instructions that if things didn't remain professional at work, then one of them would have to go.

Usually Nick and Jen were nothing but completely professional, and they didn't fool around at work; but they had recently moved in together, Jen having moved in to Nick's home, and they were like newlyweds, hardly able to keep their hands off each other. Today's slip up was a slight digression, both of them knowing that they needed to maintain their distance.

They moved apart and headed with Duncan to the briefing room, laughing and chatting about their weekends. They sat at the table, waiting for the senior officers, and were soon joined by Allie and Rhys, who were already starting the day with an argument.

"God Rhys, you can be such a know-it-all at times" Allie whined. "Tell me again why you're in Homicide – oh yeah, that' s right. Your Aunty's the boss."

Rhys rolled his eyes and sat, ignoring Allie's comment. She seemed to have a go at him all the time lately, and he was tired of it. He understood that she had been hurt when he had ended their casual relationship, but she had really taken things too far. It had been almost a year, and he was surprised that when she spoke to him, her words were still full of vitriol and bitterness. He had no idea how to remedy the situation.

Sgt Matt Ryan, Snr Sgt Stanley Wolfe and Superintendent Terry Jarvis all entered the briefing room. Jarvis looked pumped up, Duncan thought he had seen that look in Jarvis previously, when Jarvis was in charge of Narcotics, and he didn't like it.

"People, listen up!" he called, clapping his hands together. "I'm sure you all heard about the case last week in Armed Rob, where the bank teller copped it in the head. Turned off life support last night, so this officially becomes a murder investigation. Bad news is, we're teaming up with the Armed Rob goons again. Good news is, we've got a couple of suspects and the KLOF on their vehicle came up trumps – been sighted at an inner city address. Frock up, girls and boys, we're goin' in."

Rhys sighed to himself. He wasn't particularly fond of raids, and had embarrassed himself horribly in the first raid he had been involved in with Homicide. The rest of the squad had never let him live it down.

"I'm running this one" Jarvis barked. "Freeman, Buchanan, you'll be with me, we're going in along with the Armed Rob boys. Mapplethorpe, Kingston, you'll take the back, in case these clowns try to do a runner. Levitt - you just keep your head down and try not to get taken hostage." He grinned widely. "You stay out the front, keep us covered from out there. Got it? Let's get moving people."

* * *

><p><em>Nick lay back on the pillows, one arm stretched behind his head, the other arm around Jen, gently stroking her back. She lifted her head off his chest to kiss him softly on the lips. "So" he said, moving his hand to brush the hair out of her eyes. "Are you moving in with me or not?"<em>

_She looked up at him. "Are you asking me?" _

_He smiled. "You practically live here anyway. Why not make it official? It'd be nice to have more than your toothbrush here, you know."_

_She chuckled. "What? Are you really going to let me bring my stuff? We'd have to get rid of some of yours, you know..."  
><em>

"_Like what?" _

"_Well, that green leather recliner will have to go for a start..."_

_Nick laughed. "If that's all it takes to get you here, I'll throw it to the tip myself." He looked at her intently. "Seriously, Jen. You know how I feel about you. I love you. Why not take it to the next step and move in? I hate it when you're not here."_

_She traced her fingers down the side of his face and gave him a lingering kiss. "I love you too, Nick". She hooked her arms around his neck and kissed him with purpose._

_Nick pulled his lips away from hers. "So – is it a done deal?"_

_Jen rolled off Nick onto her back, pulling him with her. She kissed him teasingly, her hands stroking his lower back, moving lower still. "Well, I think there' s still some negotiating to do..." _

_He groaned, burying his head in her neck. "Jennifer, you can have whatever you want.."_

* * *

><p>The address was for a small weatherboard house in Richmond. The yard was unkempt, the garden overgrown and uncared for. Jen and Allie were in their vests, guns drawn. They stood along the wall to the side of the house. Their instructions were to make their way quickly around the back of the house, once the others had gone in through the front door. With them, were three Armed Robbery guys.<p>

"Right, let's go" Jarvis said quietly. The front door was bolstered down, Nick, Duncan, Jarvis and their Armed Robbery colleagues running in, guns drawn, shouts of "Police! Get down!"

Jen and Allie ran quickly to the back of the house. One of the suspects came bursting through the back door, however quickly dropped down onto the ground when confronted by Jen and her handgun. She was on top of him, pulling his hands behind his back and securing him with handcuffs, when the shooting began. She hit the ground, followed by Allie, although it soon became clear that it was from within the house. There were shouts and people screaming out. The scene was chaotic and it was hard to know what was going on.

For a second, Jen felt as though she couldn't breathe. She was shaking as she made her way into the back of the house, gun still drawn. As she came into what appeared to be a living area, she was confronted by a suspect on the floor, a gunshot wound to his chest. There appeared to be people everywhere. She saw Jarvis and he looked at her, his eyes betraying what he was trying so hard not to convey. Her bottom lip trembled and she lunged forward, bursting through the crowd of officers to find Nick slumped against the wall. Duncan was over him, his hands trying to cover a wound in his neck, but blood was spurting quickly.

"Noooo!" Even though she knew that it was her voice, it didn't seem real. Everything seemed to be in slow motion, and she hovered in an almost dreamlike state. She lay over Nick, quickly becoming covered in his blood. He looked up at her, and she watched disbelievingly as the light went out behind his eyes.

She felt arms grabbing at her, "Jen...Jen"

"_I've tried so hard to_

_Tell myself that you're_

_Gone_

_But though you're still _

_With me_

_I've been alone all along"_


	2. Chapter 2

My apologies for this chapter. There will be one more to come after this.

Disclaimer: I do not own City Homicide or its characters.

Lyrics of a song included in this chapter are from "My Immortal" by Evanescence.

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><p>2.<p>

_She stood beneath the shower, feeling the hot water cascading down her front, enveloping her in steam. She heard the shower door click open and felt his strong hands on her hips, his lips nuzzling into her neck._

_She sighed and leaned back into him. "Nick...we'll be late." He continued to plant kisses over her neck, her shoulders, his hands moving around to caress her stomach, and above. "Hmmm...I'll take the blame, tell Matt it's my fault."_

_Jen chuckled. "Yeah, I can see it now. 'Sorry we're late Serge, a bit of morning glory and all that. You know how it is!' Somehow, I don't think Matt will care for an apology or an explanation."_

_Nick slowly moved her against the screen of the shower, his hands finding places that made her gasp and giggle in delight. "Okay, I'll stop"._

_She hooked her arm back around his neck, pulling his mouth to hers. "Don't you dare..."_

* * *

><p>"<em>And if you have to leave<em>

_I wish that you would just leave_

'_Cause your presence still lingers_

_Here_

_And it won't leave me alone_

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just so much_

_That time cannot _

_Erase"_

Duncan looked over at Jen. She sat on the hospital bed in the Emergency Department, a far off look in her eyes. It frightened him. She hadn't spoken, and her clothing was covered in Nick's blood, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She looked tiny and vulnerable.

Stanley Wolfe walked into the Department and regarded the sight solemnly. He walked up to Duncan, placed a concerned hand on his shoulder. "Duncan...are you okay?"

Duncan nodded numbly. He didn't know what he was. Stanley looked at him intently. "What the hell happened out there?"

Duncan shook his head slowly. "I don't know. I don't ..."

"Okay. Stay with Jennifer. Take her home, and stay with her. I'll be around later."

Jen looked slowly around the room, taking in the scene. She was not sure what was happening. She felt like she was floating above herself, looking down at this scene. She looked down at her hands, covered in Nick's blood. She held her hands out in front of her, turning them over to look at her palms. And then she began to sob, a loud wailing that sent chills down Duncan's spine.

* * *

><p>The Doctor had given her a tranquillizer and had provided Duncan with a small foil containing four more of the small tablets, as well as a prescription. The wailing had stopped and had now been replaced by small sobs. Duncan pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders and helped her stand. "Come on Jen, I'll take you home."<p>

She looked at him with vacant eyes, her voice barely a whisper. "But I can't leave. I can't leave Nick here, I need to stay with him."

Duncan held her in his arms. "It's okay Jen, they're taking care of him. You can see him later."

She nodded slowly and allowed Duncan to lead her out of the hospital.

* * *

><p>"<em>When you cried I'd <em>

_Wipe away all of_

_Your tears_

_When you'd scream_

_I'd fight away all of_

_Your fears_

_And I held your_

_Hand through all_

_Of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me"_

Jen lay on the leather couch, the blanket curled up around her chin. She had not moved, had not spoken.

Duncan busied himself in Nick and Jen's kitchen, making her a tea. He didn't think she'd drink it, but he needed to try to do something for her. He felt useless. He wished one of the others would come over. He was feeling edgy, being surrounded by so much pain and hurt, and it was bringing his own long buried emotions about Claire back to the fore.

He put the tea in front of her on the coffee table, and knelt down before her. He took her hand in his. "Jen, try to drink this."

She stared at him incredulously. "I don't think I'll ever be able to drink anything again..."

"I know you feel that way now..."

Jen sat up, hugging her knees to her chest. Tears streamed down her face. "I need to see him. Can you take me?"

"Sure...let me make a call".

* * *

><p>When they arrived, Allie and Rhys were waiting outside. Allie took Jen awkwardly in her arms, hugging her. Jen did not hug back, her arms hanging limply by her side. Duncan took hold of Jen by the arm, and led her inside, Allie and Rhys following sombrely.<p>

Ronnie had done her best. Duncan had called her to warn that they were coming in, and Ronnie had tenderly washed Nick, treating him with the tender loving care that her friend deserved. She couldn't stop the tears that had pooled in the corners of her eyes.

Duncan followed Jen into the viewing room. Ronnie regarded Jen with eyes full of sorrow and regret , and made her way over to the wall, where she stood back unobtrusively.

Duncan placed his hand on Jen's shoulder, but she shrugged it off. She slowly pulled the sheet back, and there he lay, her best friend, her lover, her everything. He looked perfect. She touched his face, slowly tracing her fingers down his cheek. She cupped his face in her hands, her tears falling onto him. She kissed his lips, once so soft, now cold and lifeless. She put her head against his chest, sobbing quietly. She longed to feel his arms around her, holding her, stroking her; his lips on hers, his voice whispering her name. Her sobs became louder with the realisation that she had lost the one thing that was worth existing for.

Behind the glass window, Allie cried quietly, and Rhys, also affected by the emotion of what he was witnessing, took Allie in his arms, stroking her head.

Duncan stood back, hand over his mouth, crying quietly himself, wanting to go to Jen but also knowing, from experience, that she needed this time to be with Nick. He reached his hand out to Ronnie, who was visibly upset and squeezed tightly.

* * *

><p><em>They walked slowly back to the car after dinner, holding hands tightly. They chatted happily, content in each other's company. Nick suddenly stopped and pulled her into his arms, kissing her passionately. <em>

"_What was that for?" _

_He smiled at her, stroking her face tenderly. "Because I love you and you make me so happy. " _

_She smiled back at him. There was a time when neither of them believed that things would ever be like this, between them. They had both thought that happiness had eluded them. She linked her arms around his neck and they kissed slowly, savouring the feel and the taste of one another. _

_She looked into his eyes, her entire face smiling, lit up with the pure elation and joy she felt when she was with him. "I love you too, Nick."_

* * *

><p>Jen woke up, and reached her arm across the bed, finding it empty. For a brief moment she wondered whether Nick had got up early.<p>

And then she remembered. Her body became heavy and weighted down.

She reached across to his pillow, taking it in her hands, pulling it to her, inhaling deeply. It smelt of Nick, that heady mix of his aftershave and bodily scent.

She hugged the pillow to her, and the tears began to fall. Just when she thought she could not possibly have any tears left, another chasm seemed to open up from deep within her, and the flood began again.

'_Your face it haunts_

_My once pleasant_

_Dreams_

_Your voice it_

_Chased away_

_All the sanity_

_In me_"

She wandered slowly out into the living room, walking as if in a daze. Duncan stood in the kitchen, fixing cups of tea. She saw Stanley Wolfe sitting on the couch. He stood, when he saw her come in. His eyes were kind, full of sorrow and emotion and warmth for her. Her lips began to tremble, her legs began to give way. Stanley rushed to her side, supporting her weight, as she fell against him, letting herself collapse into his arms. "Jennifer..." He didn't know what to say. He held onto her tightly as another torrent of tears washed over her. "Jennifer...I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."


	3. Chapter 3

This is the final instalment for this short story. Thanks for the reviews, I hope that you have enjoyed it, despite the subject matter.

Disclaimer: I do not own City Homicide or its characters.

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><p>3.<p>

The house was full of people. She wished that they would just leave, so that she could be alone.

She didn't want to see anybody, she didn't want to talk to anybody. All she wanted was to curl up in bed, with Nick's pillow, hugging it to her chest, inhaling his smell, thinking about his voice, picturing his face.

She was frightened of forgetting what his voice sounded like, forgetting what his touch felt like. She didn't want to forget the way that his strong hands felt. She thought about the last time that they had made love. She didn't think that it would be _the last time._

Nick's parents, his brother and sister were in the living room with the others. Jen knew that she should spend time with them, that their loss was also great, but she couldn't bring herself to go to them. She didn't think that she was able to provide any sort of comfort to anyone else at all. Her pain was too great.

She felt physically ill with the loss of him. She couldn't eat, she couldn't drink. She was only sleeping because of the pills. She welcomed sleep, when she could dream of him, dream that things were the way they had been a few days ago, before her life had changed irrevocably. Changed in the most horrible way.

She hated waking up from her slumber, because each time, she awoke to a nightmare. This was hell, and she was living it.

Tomorrow was the funeral. She had gone along with the arrangements, staring vacantly while the funeral director spoke. Stanley had asked her if she was happy with what had been organised. She didn't care. What did it matter what they did, what the service was like? Nick was gone, nothing would change that. A nice service would not bring him back to her.

* * *

><p><em>They sat around the table, laughing. Allie was paying out on Rhys yet again, and Duncan chuckled as he swigged on his beer. Nick sat next to Jen, his arm around her. His other hand held hers, beneath the table. He squeezed tightly.<em>

"_Allie, give it a rest" Rhys whined. "You have to disagree with everything I say, don't you?"_

"_Yeah, well, that's 'cos you're always wrong. The sooner you admit that I'm right, the easier your life will be!" _

"_Golden rule of women, mate" Nick laughed. "They're always right, even when they're not".  
>Jen hit him on the arm, chuckling. "Is that so? Don't you start!" He kissed the top of her head, pulling her towards him.<em>

_It was clear to the others how in love they were. They fit together perfectly, and were so happy, and good fun to be around – their happiness was infectious, and Allie found herself warming slightly to Rhys, despite her best intentions._

"_So Jen" Duncan began, taking another sip of his beer. "Have you sorted out Nick's place yet? Got rid of all that junk he's had laying around?"_

_Nick raised his eyebrows questioningly. "What junk?"  
><em>

"_Come on Nick, you're a hoarder! You collect bits and pieces of everything."_

"_Yeah, but I'm a tidy hoarder"_

_Jen placed her hand lovingly against his chest. "He is actually very tidy, Dunny. And I don't mind his collecting things. They all tell a story..."_

_Nick looked at her tenderly, and planted a soft kiss on her lips. He adored her, and it was obvious to everyone._

"_You guys are completely nauseating" Allie stood up. "Anyone for another drink?"_

_Nick stood, grabbing Jen by the hand and pulling her up with him. "Nah, we've gotta go. Got dinner plans." Jen raised her eyebrows at him in surprise. What plans?_

_He led her outside as she asked him what plans they had. She hadn't actually pulled anything out for tea, and she had hoped that they would just grab something on the way home. Nick pushed her up against the side of the car and took her in his arms, kissing her passionately. His hands slipped up inside her blouse and she gasped in surpise. "I'm crazy about you, Jen" he whispered against her mouth. "Let's get out of here."_

"_What about dinner?" she asked against his neck, as his lips nibbled at her ear, his hands still working their magic on her body. "What about it?"_

_She smiled at him and kissed his hand as they pulled apart, getting into the car. She sighed contentedly. Life was perfect._

* * *

><p>She sat through the service numbly, feeling almost as if she were having an out of body experience. It had been a full Police Service, their colleagues in uniform providing a guard of honour for Nick's casket. Jen had sat in the church, staring at the floor, Duncan on one side gripping her hand tightly, and Simon, who had come back to Melbourne for the funeral, sitting on her other side, his fingers entwined with hers. She couldn't look at them. She didn't want to speak, because she was frightened that she would dissolve into a flood of tears, and they would never stop.<p>

People gathered back at Nick and Jen's place. Stanley had organised some ladies from his church to provide refreshments, and they had done a wonderful job. Jen was conspicuous by her absence. When they arrived home, she had gone straight to the bedroom and curled up on her side on the bed, one of Nick's jumpers in her arms, snuggled against her chin.

Bernice Waverly asked after her. Duncan shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know ma'am. She doesn't really want to be around people. She just lays on the bed all day."

"Yes, well that's not healthy. Believe me. Who's staying with her?"

"We've been taking it in shifts, ma'am. One of us is always around."

Bernice smiled warmly at Duncan and placed her hand on his shoulder. "One day, Jennifer will be thankful that she has such good friends and that you were here for her."

* * *

><p><em>They sat on the couch next to each other, his arm draped around her shoulder. She held his hand. They had just finished watching a DVD, and Jen was feeling content and somewhat sleepy. "Where are we going Jen?" Nick's question caught her off guard, and, she felt, slightly ruined the serene moment. She looked up at him, curiously, suddenly feeling very awake. "What do you mean?"<em>

"_I mean, what do you want? We've moved in together, what next? I'm just trying to get it clear in my own head, I like to know where I'm going. Where do you see us, say, in five years time?"_

"_I don't know." She was embarrassed. "Um...married, I hope."_

_He smiled. "Good. We're on the same page, then. What about kids? You said before you weren't ready for a family..."_

"_Well, I hope that in five years time I'll have one" she laughed. "I'll be forty, for god's sake!"_

_Nick took her face in his hands. "So, kids are on the agenda then?"_

"_I guess so." She sounded unsure. Not that she was, she was just embarrassed about the conversation they were having. She knew that Nick had wanted those things, and she did too, now, but it was not like he had asked her recently. She was scared of admitting that she wanted kids and marriage if he had changed his mind..._

"_So" He kissed her softly on the cheek. "If you want a family by the time you're forty, we better get a move on,then. Maybe we should start trying...for a baby, I mean."_

_Jen smirked. "Hold your horses, Nick! I don't plan on being knocked up and unmarried, you know!"_

_Nick kissed her again. "Well, these things can take time. I still think we should start trying..."_

_Jen laughed loudly. She had spent most of her adult life trying hard NOT to get pregnant, the idea that she should now be trying to get herself up the duff was hilarious to her. "Nick, I'm not going to try to get pregnant until I have a ring on my finger!"_

_He nibbled her neck whilst she giggled delightedly. "Well, maybe __**I **__better get a move on, then, don't you think?"_

* * *

><p>Duncan knocked softly on the bedroom door. "Jen, can I come in?"<p>

When she didn't answer, he decided to go in anyway. He found her laying on the bed. He sat down next to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Jen. You can't stay in here. You can't keep yourself hidden away from everybody. It doesn't help. I should know."

Jen turned her head to stare at him. "How did you do it? How did you get up everyday and _live?_"

He regarded her with sombre eyes. "I don't know. But you do. Because you don't have a choice. When Claire died, I isolated myself from everyone. It didn't help, it made things worse. 'Cos I was left alone with my thoughts, and some of them were thoughts that I didn't want to be having."

The tears began to stream down Jen's face. "I don't think that I can do this..."

Duncan took her in his arms. "You can, Jen. You can. Right now, it probably feels like you can never do anything again. But one day, you'll think of Nick and instead of crying, you'll smile. I'm not saying it won't hurt, because the hurt doesn't ever go away. You just learn to live with it a bit easier. "

"Duncan, I love him so much" she wailed, her head buried against his chest. He stroked her hair tenderly. "I know you do, Jen. We're all here for you. You don't have to do this on your own."

Duncan stood and reached his hand out to her. She stared at it, the tears coming freely now, the sobs racking her body. She reached out and took his hand, and slowly, he led her out into the room of the living.

THE END


End file.
